We Can’t Control Others’ Actions #126

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“We can’t control anything but our own actions.  So, we do our best with what we can.”~C. L. B-Smith

 

With Mother’s Day on the horizon, I’ve been reflecting lately in regard to how I’ve coped to issues involving my children over the years.  So, upon reading a prompt from a close friend’s Facebook post the other day, I was able to tear into my thoughts and write them out:     “Those that have raised teenagers⏩  What advice would you give me?” 🤔  #thedeathofme AND, it got me thinking

I replied with:  “Hang in there, the BEST is yet to come!”

She then replied with: “How so?”

Which I replied back:  “The growth and diligence of parenting will be seen as your children experience life skills and development as young adults.  I’ve seen the love and logic of my parenting shine through as my kids have matured. If you believe in your parenting practices, you’ll see the rewards of their choices!”

 

 

There were others who also posted some words of enlightenment from my friend’s inquiring question and I thought this would be the perfect time of the year for this article.

ENJOY YOUR CHILDREN and HONOR YOUR PARENTING!  If you feel you did the best that you could have and can accept both your ‘works in progress’ as well as your ‘successes’ as a part of your parenting journey – all the more to celebrate and continue to love ’em the BEST THAT YOU CAN! ❤

 

“Love them!” ❤

 

“Love them thru it and remember they are just as frustrated as you are and honestly don’t know why they do what they do.”

 

“Sell them to the gypsies! You’ll have extra money and lots of peace. (Disclaimer: I’ve never raised teenagers) 😁”

 

“I totally understand. Mine is 23 now and she’s back to normal lol. It does get better and the day they apologize for all they put you thru, and thank you for loving them thru it, makes it all worth it…

 

My daughter was 13 when she decided I was stupid and mean. She was about 19 when I got smart again (according to her) and nice. I always told her that I was here to be her mom and not her friend, so if she was angry with me I must be doing my job. There will be times of yelling, silent treatment, anger, hurt, and tears (on both sides). So many parents try to be friends with their teen and it doesn’t work this is the time they need guidance and they will push back because they don’t know what else to do. There will be a time when you will be friends again but not now, stay strong. My daughter always said she was leaving as soon as she was 18, she’s 23 and still lives here, but she’s going to college full time and working full time and we actually have a relationship now. My problem now is remembering that she is an adult and I can’t parent her anymore lol. I promise you will get there and when you do it will be amazing and you’ll look back on this and be proud of your success.”

 

“Stay consistent with whatever rules you have in place.”

 

“My Mom used to say that when kids turn 13 aliens come in the night and take out their brains and replace them with green goo and they don’t return the brains until we are around 23 year old. I think her advice was to just wait it out…”

 

“It’s a very tough age just lots of patience love and understanding. And let them have their space.”

 

“Never let them over step you listen to whatever they got to tell you even if it’s bad. Got to don’t put them down if it’s bad. Just talk listen.”

 

“Listen and let them talk.” ❤

“Love them through it all!!” ❤

“Love. It seems that is always the answer!!!” ❤
“If we don’t have love……we have nothing at all.” ❤

“Hang in there, try to laugh with them as much as possible, and realize they are budding young adults. They are their own person and are on their way to becoming responsible adults. You can’t change who they are or how they think. You can still influence, but the more you push, the more resistance you will get. 

 

Relax. In spite of anything and everything we do or don’t do, our kids turn out okay anyway. 

 

Their reasoning skills and similar do not really fully develop in the brain till 21. A lot if brain development is happening now, a lot of hormonal and emotional development.

 

And as hard as it is for you, it is at least as hard for each of them. They have to deal with themselves, their siblings also going through a hard time, and their parents. 

 

And yes. Love them through it all. No matter what. And make sure you let them know that frequently. 

 

And when you know they need a hug but they wont welcome you telling them so, Ask Them for a hug. Tell them You need a hug. Because you do, and hugs make so many things so much better. 

 

Let them know you appreciate their contribution to the family. That you appreciate who they are. Every time you notice them do something good, thank them. Let them know you notice. 

 

Love and tolerance go a long way.”

 

“No social media, trust but don’t be naive, keep them in activities at all times, talk A LOT about the uncomfortable things and listen even more.”

 

“Go with the flow and enjoy them!”
“Teenage girls get a bad rep, but it’s not fair. They have passion and energy and they love hard and if you can channel that into productivity they’ll soar. The best teens I know spend very little time in front of screens, are involved in extracurricular, and have parents who set clear and loving boundaries and expectations. Teenagers are my favorite .”
“A friend of mine advised me about letting them socialize since it’s one of the biggest milestone for them to establish lifelong friendships now…just make sure you know who, what when and where they are…those trackers help also and we monitor their social media posts and settings.”
“I’m dealing with a teenage boy well not even a teenager yet but soon to be and I’ve got three of them so I know exactly what you’re going through and I swear sometimes I think boys can be more hormonal than girls just in a different way I guess LOL, So all we can do is show them love and try to be patient and calm or we could try to sell them in a black market or something lol I mean seriously we can even just sell body parts and then that way we can threaten them that if they don’t behave we’re going to sell their left toe or their right arm …I mean they don’t really need all their body parts right? and we need the money lol.”
“Love, love, love them! Develop a strong relationship with them. Try to remember that when they talk back and are disrespectful, they are going through crazy hormones. They need you to he patient. Love does not equal permissiveness, but don’t be too strict either. You can do this! I am right there with you! Currently raising 3 teenagers, and the 4th is quickly approaching those years as well. Teenagers are hard, but there are also so many rewarding experiences.” ❤
“Don’t overreact. When they say crazy things, just listen, and give them time to come to their senses on their own. More often than not, they will.”
“We can make things much, much worse by the way we respond.”
“It’s a roller coaster but seriously just take a lot of deep breathes and remember they eventually grow up.”
“Don’t over react listen then candidly say let me talk to your Father and WE will get back to you on that.”
“Love is key in everything. Teaching, disciplining, or whatever. I’ve learned that my relationships with my children are the most important thing in the world. After we leave this Earth, it’s the only thing we will take with us.
“Listen 3 times as much as you talk and don’t take what they say personal. Also try to keep the proper perspective…grandchildren are AMAZINGLY WONDERFUL and the reward of not strangling your teenagers lol.
“Couple of my teenagers have put me through it emotionally and I’ve had to learn. Some days the struggle is really real. Also another thing I’d say is make sure you are taking care of yourself too. I’ve needed way more radical self-care as a mom of teens than I did when I had 3 babies under 3.”

 

 

 

“You can’t control other people’s behavior, but you can control your responses to it.”― Roberta Cava

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